Let me just state from the get-go that it’s NEVER worth staying up late to watch the Academy Awards all the way through. You’ve seen all the outfits and you already know who won (if you’ve been on Facebook during the ads). But the real danger is getting so stupified you can’t go to bed. Next thing you know you’re watching The Block and then Alyssa Milano infomercials - which although strangely hypnotic, are known to cause cerebral injury.

But I digress. Back to fashion.

Well, there were a number of themes that permeated this year’s Academy Awards red carpet fashions. Firstly, and most all-pervading, was the “Bridal Expo” theme, as seen on Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Lawrence and Charlize Theron (who wore princess/peplum dresses or shoulder baring numbers worthy of any bride); Anne Hathaway developed the theme further with her bridesmaid’s dress. Full points for getting there without wrinkles though Anne, that satin is a bitch to iron!

The next theme was the “Black and Gold” look. It’s great to see big stars like Nicole Kidman, Barbra Streisand and Salma Hayek doing their bit to promote affordable grocery products, heh heh. Seriously though, Nicole’s L’Wren Scott gown was one of the best outfits of the night, second only to Naomi Watts who wore a stunning, sparkly, grey Armani dress.

The next theme was the “Blah” look. To Jennifer Anniston, Reese Witherspoon and Helen Hunt, we ask: “Why girls, why?” So many resources, so little inspiration... Generally speaking Oscars fashion has gone awfully conservative over the last few years, there was nary a bad taste/outlandish/mind blowing costume in sight! (Bring back Bjork we say!)

Overall, we thought the highlights of the night were as follows (in order):

- Adele’s hair - loved the fulsome, relaxed do, the woman is pure glamour.

- Babs & Shirley Bassey - still awesome after all these years. (HE LOVES GOOOOOOLD! She really convinced me that that guy loves gold. I had my doubts before you see...)

- The ad for the new series of The Voice (Ricky Martin! Can’t wait)

- Randy Newman not being nominated for best song.

- Watching winning actresses try to get through their speeches without becoming unhinged.

- Jane Fonda’s yellow Versace dress - wow!

- Jennifer Lawrence falling over but recovering with her sense of humour intact. Let’s face it, the girl is unbelievably charming.

- Daniel Day Lewis’ Margaret Thatcher/Meryl Streep joke and all round good speech (when are we going to see those two in a movie? Huh?). This was ALMOST worth staying up for.

- Ben Affleck nearly losing his mind and telling us all about his marriage issues.

- Was Renee Zellweger drunk? If not, she looked like she could use a serious nap (it was getting late!). Still, top entertainment Renee!

- Russell Crowe doing that kind of talking/singing. Loved it, though he looked like he’d rather be eating a pie at a Rabbitoh’s game.

Lowlights:

- Seeing Jackie Weaver at the Oscars (yay) but knowing that she’s no longer married to Derryn Hinch. Beards are back for dudes in a big way, but it was always Derryn leading the charge. Now there was a guy who was ahead of the pack.

- Having to listen to the running commentary of your flatmate all night. For example, when Catherine Zeta Jones was singing, being asked “Is that Nick Cave?.... Gosh, he’s versatile!”

So what did you make of the 2013 Oscars?